"Don’t kid yourself" would be a great slogan for birth control pills
A proud new dad sits down to have a drink with his father
"Well son, now that you’ve got a kid of your own, I think it’s time to give you this"
"Dad, you don’t mean-"
"Yes son, I do" *Dad pulls out copy of 1001 Dad Jokes, 5th Edition*
"Dad… I’m honoured…", he says, tears sparkling in his eyes.
"Hi honoured", replies his father. "I’m dad".
Best Pope story yet?
Pope Francis has been sneaking out of the Vatican at night to serve the homeless.
The Pope for people who don’t like popes strikes again.
HE WAS ALSO A BOUNCER AT A NIGHTCLUB
Pope Francis has also shed the trappings of wealth that generally accompany his position (golden cape, ornate throne) in favor of white threads and a simple wooden chair. He’s also the first Pope to wash a woman’s feet, insisting that it’s what Jesus Christ would have done. Even if you’re not religious you can appreciate that this is a genuinely good man, and a wonderful leader of the Catholic Church.
I’m not Christian but I’ll never pass up an opportunity to reblog something about Pope Francis. I think he’s completely awesome. he actually does the things the pope SHOULD be doing, not wearing fucking golden sheets and sitting on a golden fucking throne. the man actually tries to live like Christ and that’s pretty amazing to me, since 99% of the Christians I’ve ever met don’t. four for you Pope Francis, you go Pope Francis.
HE WAS A BOUNCER WHAT
the worst is having a dream where someone loves you and you can practically feel them touching you and it feels so real and then you wake up and it’s like the life is being sucked out of you and the happiness just drains out of your body and you feel empty again
1 universe, 9 planets, 7 seas, 7 continents, 809 islands, 204 countries, and I had the unfortunate luck of meeting u
THERE ARE 8 PLANETS, YOU UNCULTURED SWINE.
VIVA LA PLUTO FUCK YOU
I’m pretty sure “Viva la Pluto fuck you” is the best sentence I’ve heard all week.